Today, how I wish I'd never waken up from my sleep. This may come as a surprise to most people but I really do. I find peace and solace when I'm sleeping. Free from all the worries, pain, suffering and all the bad things life can throw back at you. My head hurts with all the thinking and worrying I have to do but I get relief whenever I close my eyes. And that's one reason why I don't want waking up. I know for sure that sleeping it out is not the most practical answer to all the problems I have but its the only commodity and resource I have at the moment. Better than drugs and alcohol I suppose?
Looking at my life at present I could certainly say that its comparable to a bad dream. A dream that wont let up from all the ghostly realities of life. My existence in this world is characterized by the dark and dull, empty and null, waning and lost. It is sick and repugnant. I want to break free from it all. Its a struggle getting over it even more. The only consolation I get is for me to wish and wake up to something reassuring and calming. And glad that it was just a bad dream.
I yearn that I was still a child free of all the worries of this world. Enjoying life as it unfolds before me. But alas, gone are those days. I am too familiar about the uncertainty of what life has to offer for me today. And even though I see most of it as a ghastly dream. There is still hope for a beautiful day ahead. I may not be certain when it will come, but I just pray that it will come soon before I drown in this loathsome and ghostly dream, my pathetic life.
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