Today is just any other day and it is as "grey as ever." I cannot even think of anything to write about except to express what I have been feeling for the past few days. And this is the only consolation I get. The only means I know possible to get a small amount of relief from all the negativity I have. But even then, it is difficult to open up and let loose all my emotions and feelings; and this makes it even more hard on myself. I try to open up to people but it complicated than I imagine. I feel misunderstood and get even frustrated in the end. I am in the "twilight zone" lost, injured and probably dead. But I guess death will only be the only solution I get. One must die to give new life to another; only then I can say that Im free.